There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
