ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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