so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
