Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so let's talk penis.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
