The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
