Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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