Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize