You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
