he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
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You dont lie about slip and slides
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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