3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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