Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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