Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize