He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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