under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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