i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
