New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
