I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I stole a fireplace last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize
