Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
