put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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