he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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