his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize