He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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