I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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