Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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