Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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