but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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