It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
