I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
