Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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