So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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