Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
