Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
