Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
