I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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