I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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