She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
