I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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