It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize