his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
