she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
