OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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