Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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