Best friends brother. Beat that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
