She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think my moral compass just broke
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