Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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