After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
