You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
