Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize