found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
