Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?