Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

and my herpes radar will keep us safe

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(916): View more from California

The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(647): View more from Ontario

They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...

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(630): View more from Illinois

i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to

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(763): View more from Minnesota

All I need is to get out and get laid

(612): View more from Minnesota

Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for

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