During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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