Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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