Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
