Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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