thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
