But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
