I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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