Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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