Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There r osticjed everywhere
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
