this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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